I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
