Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
