There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
