Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You don't make any sense
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