just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
