I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
