I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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