Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
