I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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