I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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