new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
