Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
