yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
