You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
