well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
