Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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