this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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