i can't believe i had my finger in that
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
