Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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