Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
