Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
another moral hangover. fuck.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
