You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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