Im at strip club and am horny
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
