I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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