Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
