Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
