oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
