i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
