RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
