So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
