I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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