I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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