so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
