Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
