another moral hangover. fuck.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
