Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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