i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
