Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
