I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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