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shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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