Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
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