the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
