when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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