I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
