I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
