you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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