i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
