so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
