and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
