Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
